True

Mum once told me, "Everything in life is to be tried."

Till now,the words still resonate in my mind,reminding me to always give people and things a chance.

Indeed, I heeded her advice as best as I could,but warped it at the same time for my personal reasons.

I tried to accept them,tried to make them like me,tried to care for them and love them,tried so hard in many trying ways.

But try hard as I may,I have to admit I have lost.Not because they are not worthy of my attention,but just that they do not befit my vindication of living on my own terms.

I need to be able to develop something for my ideal targets,need to feel,need to care,need to love and in turn be returned what I had forked out.

It is never easy.

Living in the recluse of what I project myself to be,in the shadows of what I had long foreseen as conclusive living premised on other's expectations,and to have to be elicited that twisted smile.

I never thought it would come to this.I didn't want it and never meant for it.I have been trying very hard to come to terms with living,with myself and with what I have gone through.

You may never understand how it feels like to be on this lone journey.But it's a choice.My path in life.

I hope you will accept it.I can only afford to say,"I'm sorry."