None the Wiser

Cyclical; it repeats itself without fail
Moving laboriously from peak to trough
And then back forth once again.
There comes the moment when the light loses its shine
Making way for darkness to descend.
With it brings the winds of the east to the west
Exactly what I detest.

This volatility, composed of extremity swinging from
Best to worst, first to last.
Tear the serene peace apart, inviting war to stay.
It won't be soon before it's over,
For all around stinks with terror.

Lesson must be learnt;
The scars shall serve as the sobering reminder
That to hope is to engage in the business of self-deception.
Since the returns of hope is a blank check titled
'Hopelessness'.

Changing Faces (Masked)

Pains me to even feel.
The coldness in your soul
Veiled beneath your eyes.

Frightens me to ever think
The ruthlessness of your mind
Glimpsed through your nasty acts.

Your every move is a sensuous invite
For only you are able to excite
The very minute you set sight
On what is otherwise an existential plight.

It's been a while since we last met,
I don't even recall when we together last ate.
We held out hopes for the future
Which turned out to be an epic overture.

Shudders me to imagine (now)
Life of the hopelessly sanguine
What fools we are
Imprisoning ourselves in a world
We created to liberate (that's meant to end).

Chokes me with emotions indescribable
How I landed in this shamble.
Now that I'm in,
I'm impelled to take the gamble.

Beckoning

The mind spins, the patience wearing thin.
Not much of a choice to be released.
So much there is to be unleashed.

Disinterest mounts by each ticking of the clock,
With their distinct mark of taunting.
Pumping fear and dread that's all the more haunting.

So much there is to be said.
Yet no one to say it to.
Even words cannot convey fully the meaning of being caged.

Multiple voices speak to a hollow vessel
Hypnosis that is therapeutic for the moment
Which morphs into acute pressure the next.

Seething with unexplainable fury and escalating frustration,
Solace is sought in the unthinkable dimension.
Sanctuary promises it's near and clear.

Pain is mere numbness;
Numbness is the ill which portends blight.
I break loose, losing myself to Hell's
Beckoning.

Cornered

What do you do
When you are troubled
But see no end
To your troubles?

Trouble is your suitor -
It seeks to court you
And you know it always succeeds.

I always believe not to
Trouble trouble unless trouble troubles me.
Now that it is knocking right at my doorstep,
I am at a total loss.

For I know my refusal and unwillingness to let it in
Will be but a futile and pointless resistance.

Bare

Could hardly resist your advances
When you moved so swiftly, so stealthily
Knew it would cost me dearly
To grant you access to my senses.

Does not help to leave
For you hold a part of me by the leash
My soul and self are not intact.
I can barely retract.

Once so wonderfully endowed,
Now so woefully exploited.
Bareness speaks of my state of destitution.
Rarely do I not reside in isolation.

Epitaph

Do you feel the searing pain,my friend?
When the fire ripped through your body
Effacing what semblance of peace you could enjoy
In the inner recesses of your mind.

Comfort zone no more-
For now you are stripped to the gore
I understand how the chagrin in you will burn
As indignation takes hold.

Once,you occupied a place in the hearts of many
Once,you were an indispensable friend.
But the domineering and overbearing triumphed
Nulling your infinite influence.

Indeed,it is overwhelming and ever-agonising
To know you only in our distant memories
To have you guarding the ones you love
Without a chance for us to express gratitude.

We know very well you did not want to leave
Without saying goodbye;we do.
Just that the god-forsaken menaces of the ruler
Took rein,and took you away.

Let us vow to take them down.

Voyage

Do not recall when I was sent aboard
This damned vessel
Sailing towards an inescapable destiny
Marked doom.

For when I acquire cognizance
Realization dawned on me
I was thrust onto this voyage
Against my will and wishes.

Why do I say so?
Simple and direct:
Security,reason,logic and happiness
Were all robbed of me.

Destitution is the state
I am reduced to be.
Cowering in fear and stripped of sanity,
The perpetrators tantalise me

With my freedom they devoured.

Grouse & Foul

I am severely wounded.
Sustaining a serious dent in self.
No idea how and when I can recover
From the horrors and terrors of the past.

No matter how hard I try,
I cannot but shake the nightmares off.
They kept on coming-
Haunting,taunting and mounting.

Was it a matter of fate
That I suffer as such?
Or am I condemned for my mistakes;
Those that I cannot remember having committed?

Admittance of wrong I did,
So was denial.
Either way,I know deep in my heart
Forever I will be hit hard.

Part (Two)

I walk into the crowd,hoping to ease my loneliness
But as I blend into it
I am no different from the rest;
Only that my sense of solitude is amplified.

How many times have I done this?
I don't know;
Only know that you are not in the know.
Can't help but keep wondering if you feel this (too).

Ever since we parted
And went onto different paths
We never looked back (To see if we were on track)
Sadly,we never did.

Now and then it hit me,and I'm sure you too
That we can't hold back our bits and pieces
Neither can we mend the broken pieces
But what are we to do?
We were two little fools.

Fall

Frantic searching can do no wonders
To a soul that is set to wander
As the heart starts to quiver
Calling out for the eager saver,
The devil starts his plunder.

In the vision lies the immediate and near
In the mind resides the towering fear.
Far from ordinary thoughts and processes,
The ONE pervades the messes.

Have you the gall
To defy The ONE's order to fall?
Even so,choice is not made avail (by mortal means)
In a realm where dictatorship prevails.

Cursed Gift

Chances of redemption are low and nigh
Add onto it all my sighs.
Thanks for making me lose the highs
I used to enjoy.

Not you;nor your fault
Him,he opened up the vault
What fine spread he did offer
I know you would buckle.

Twists and turns we have had too many
Happiness and joy are but nary
My gift to you
You treat as a curse.

Our dialogue is starting to become terse.

Wishful Thinking

My birthday wish:

Solely

The profound sense of abandonment
That leaves one in bewilderment
Is often termed "loneliness".

It rips the soul and nags the mind;
Not at all kind.

How one is inundated by it
Reflects his character to bits.

But it would be all too convenient
To dismiss it as such,
And judge a person who is not so in charge

-Of his feelings,instincts and temperaments
That can produce so vast a reaction
Capable of inflicting irreversible damage
Contributing to his detriment.

Left.
Alone.
.